


Tainted (For All The Bridges That Burned Down)

by Vendetta23



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VIII
Genre: Ass Play, BDSM, Bondage, Bottom Kylo Ren, Choking, Consensual, Dom rey, F/M, Femdom, Force Choking, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Redemption, Orgasm Delay, Power Play, Reylo - Freeform, Safe Sane and Consensual, Submissive Kylo Ren, Trust Issues, bondage through the Force, trusk kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-19
Updated: 2017-12-19
Packaged: 2019-02-16 23:28:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13064403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vendetta23/pseuds/Vendetta23
Summary: [SPOILERS FOR EPISODE VIIII: THE LAST JEDI]Will Kylo trust Rey to show him some other way?





	Tainted (For All The Bridges That Burned Down)

The sound of water against the rocks flew Rey’s eyes open in the middle of the night. She could sense it, the presence hidden in the shadows of the hut, it was not as imposing as before, it was not as powerful. She knew there was nothing there, only a cold breeze coming in from the space between the bricks, but she could see him in her mind, as clear as if she could just touch him if only she reached out.

“I’d rather not do this right now” she sat on the bed, looking straight into the darkness. His image would sometimes flicker, a piece of him would shake and disappear like in an old failing hologram. Her image was solid to him, he was the one torn apart.

“Me neither” Kylo said angrily. He had been looking at himself in the mirror, tracing down with the tip of his finger the scar that cut through his face and chest. He never looked at his eyes. That was always when she appeared, when he faced the consequences of his actions, when he was most conflicted. When he as alone.     

“Could you at least put a shirt on?” she turned her gaze away.

“Why is this happening?” he didn’t wait for her to finish her sentence. On his back he could feel a cold breeze. On her face she could feel the strong lights of his cabin warming up her skin.

“I don’t know” she thought about the dark cave under the island, about how she just went right through the hole, felt desire when touching the mirror. She shivered, thinking that maybe the reason she and Kylo were communicating through the Force was that the power awakened in her was making her grow out to be just like him. “Ben” she shook her head and looked him in the eye, he looked away.

“That is not my name anymore” he had meant to shout but his voice came out like a whisper. His hands started shaking, he thought that maybe the reason they were communicating was that he was turning out to be just like her. Weak. But that is impossible, he thought, and that same scene came back to him as it had done countless times before, keeping him awake at night, haunting him by day, Kylo running the lightsaber through his father, lightning up Han Solo’s shocked face with a red light.

“It is not too late” Rey stepped forward slowly and Kylo stumbled back, he knew she wasn’t really there but he felt as if her touch would burn him.

“No. You still think you know all there is to know about me” his words were rushed and he looked down “First you were certain I was a monster and now you are certain that… what? That there is light in me?” his laugh was a hoarse exasperation “Like if things are that simple”

“Ben…” Rey gave a step back, thinking that that would calm him down, but his voice was already rising.

“I know why I am seeing you, it is because I am scared. And you are seeing me because you are scared too. You feel the Force inside of you and you don’t know what to do with it, you feel like if you take one step out of your sacred path of Light, you have the potential to become something as monstrous as me. As horrifying as my grandfather.” Kylo was the one to walk towards Rey “As my potential was growing stronger, Snoke said there was potential rising as well on the other side. He was wrong, it wasn’t Luke. It was you. Balance. I need you to remind me that I cannot be who I have to be as long as I _remember_ , as long as there is hope. You needed me to be your mirror, to keep you away from becoming _me_. But now… you need me to turn to the other side because if you can believe the good in me, you can believe the good in yourself.” Kylo was face to face with Rey now “You need me to turn so you know there is hope if you are tempted by the Dark Side. This has nothing to do with me”.

“You are wrong. I think you need to believe it as much as I do. Because if there is good in me, there is good in you” she raised her hand slowly.

“Stop” and she stopped, just inches from his face “What are you doing?” his heart was beating fast, in his head there were screams, _her touch would destroy him_.

“I am doing what Luke failed to do with you when he wielded his lightsaber on your bedroom that night” Rey’s eyes were wide, reading him through every muscle of his face “I am teaching you what the Jedi forgot to put in books” she took a deep breath, her hand still steady “That not every touch corrupts, and that it is not because you are sleeping that someone will come behind your back to hurt you when… when you still hadn’t done nothing wrong”

“But he was right about me, I…” his lips were trembling.

“He wasn’t right about you, he couldn’t have known. Who knows what choices you could have made if it hadn’t been chosen _for_ you who you would become in the future. It is not too late, Ben. And maybe I need this too, this… hope. May I?”

“Why are you doing this?” his watery eyes were blinking uncontrollably.

“I am not atoning you, Ben. You and I know what you have done. I am just showing you another way”.

Kylo thought it would burn, burn as bad as he deserved. He did not deserve to be touched like that, he deserved to be ambushed in his bedroom as a young boy by his Master. He didn’t deserve to be believed in, he deserved that the person who should have believed in him the most would be the one to try to kill him. So when he brushed his face against Rey’s fingers he wanted it to hurt like he was being punished, more than that, he wanted to feel nothing and realize it was all a fantasy, that would be much worse. But he felt a warm touch like nothing he had experienced in his life.

“H-how can I feel you?”

“I’m here and you are there but the Force unites us” she held her palm against his skin, she had imagined it to be cold and hard for so long she forgot that it was just like hers, warm and soft. He shivered and a painful look crossed his face, so she let go of him.

“No” he took her hand and put it back where it was. _I want that_ , he thought, in a state of shock. Maybe he thought he knew everything there was to know about himself too.

“I want to kiss you” Rey whispered, he frowned.

“Why do you want to kiss _me_? I tried to kill everything you put your hope in”

“But you didn’t, not yet. Ben, you are letting me _touch_ you” her fingers traced down the scar on his cheek “Let me show you more than this, let me show you there is a way out for all this anger” she raised her other hand to his face and made her fingers dance on his jet black hair. He didn’t flinch, her touch would not burn.

“I don’t deserve this. I killed every way out of myself on the moment I killed my father. There is no scaping this, this _thing_ inside of me now” he gestured towards his chest as if there was something ripping him apart from inside out.

“Let me show you how, let me show you how…” Rey cupped his head with both hands, Kylo didn’t know what to do with his own hands, he didn’t know if he should touch Rey as well. His hands were like claws, all they did was slash and punch angrily at walls, hold firmly his lightsaber as he ran it thought the heart of innocent people. His touch would shatter her skin, would bring decay where there was light. As if she could read his mind, Rey enlaced his fingers with her own, and calmly brought his hand to the back of her neck. She felt the pressure of his touch. “See?” she said while he stared at her wide eyed, like he was expecting something horrible to happen. Kylo let go a breath he didn’t know he was holding. And then she landed her hands on his shoulders and pulled him closer. Even though she wasn’t really there he could feel her breath on his lips, he could see her attentive eyes on his mind. She closed her eyes when their lips met, he kept his wide open.

“I am not good, I am not good Rey” their lips parted and he shook his head violently “I _can’t_ be… I can’t have _this_ ”

“Ben, please listen to be, please _trust_ me” Rey held his head in place, his dark hair falling on his eyes “Just trust me” she said softly, and raised her open hand towards him “Here’s what I think, I think you believe you would never let anyone take control of you, but by believing that you are letting Snoke manipulate you, toss you from side to side like a pawn on his own game for power. You are blind to that. I think you believe you only showed weakness once in your life, and on that time Luke thought about murdering you on your sleep. But you are weak now, you were weak all your life, letting Snoke shape that untamed power inside of you and making you believe you were powerful for going to the Dark Side. That was never power, Ben, that was you walking down a path already traced for you, running away from the consequences of your own choices. I think you looked up to your grandfather and saw in him the concentrated power you never had. You must have looked at yourself and thought ‘I _must_ be like him so I am never weak again’. But that choice stripped you from every last sense of control you still had. You are not him, Ben, you are better, I can see you are still conflicted. You killing your father wasn’t a final sentence, you still can _choose_.” Rey started to close her fingers, Kylo felt something move inside the hole he had on his chest “I want to show you that by giving up control you can have hope back. I am not doing this to hurt you, or to turn you so I can play you like Snoke, I am doing this because I _care_ ” Kylo shivered, she couldn’t care, not about him, no one cared about him “And when you see that you are safe with me you will know that the Force is about more than destruction, it is also about creation”

“That was not what I saw” he snarled.

“No. It wasn’t. But it is what you are going to see if you let me” Rey moved her fingers and Kylo could feel the Force rush through his veins “May I?”

“Yes” the words left his mouth without warning. He was furious at her for reading him like that, but underneath the rage there was desire, the feeling of her gentle lips on his.

“Will you tell me if you want me to stop?”

“Yes” he stared intensely at her hand as she started to move her fingers, his heart was beating fast and strong against his chest, he was scared but he never wanted so much in his life that someone would prove him wrong. He was tired of feeling afraid, of feeling angry. He wanted her lips again, but when he tried to move forward something held him in place. Rey looked concentrated, she moved her fingers again and his arms moved slowly to his back, his wrists were locked together by the Force, his breathing got shaky.

“Breathe, Ben. Everything is alright” and he did what he was told without hesitation, he took deep breaths as she Rey got closer. As she breathed down his neck, he felt his cock getting flushed with blood and moved uncomfortably his shoulders “Yes, I can feel it”

“Sorry” he looked at the floor hoping his hair would hide his red cheeks.

“Why are you saying sorry?” Rey put her free hand under his chin and lifted his face “Let me see you”

“Why do you want to see _this_?” he would point at his scar if his hands were free.

“Because I like it. You are not used to being looked at, aren’t you?”

“No, I…” Kylo felt his legs giving in and his knees gently touched the ground. He looked at her in confusion.

“Tell me you don’t want this”

“No” he answered quickly, the last thing he wanted was for her to stop “I want this”

“What is _this_?”

“You know what it is”

“I need you to tell me, Ben, I need you to help me, I need you to help yourself”

“I want _peace_ ” he snapped, shaking uncontrollably with the little control he had of his body “I want to be able to go to sleep at night with my back turned to the door, I want not to be afraid all the time, I want not to try to be in control of everything” tears started pouring down from his eyes “I want to hug my father and tell him I’m sorry, I want to know _love_ , Rey” he shouted, hiding his face under his hair again “But I can’t undo what I have done, and I don’t deserve this”

“This has nothing about deserving” Rey kneeled down in front of him and pushed his hair from his eyes “This is about making things right” she kissed him on his nose, on his forehead, on his cheeks, on his lips. Kylo wanted to touch her with hands that were less and less like sharp claws, hands that could now hold and care for, not just kill.

“Make me see, Rey. This new path you talk about” his voice was hoarse and desperate, he leaned his head against her hand.

“I can show you when you close your eyes” she whispered in his ear and kissed his neck. And then it was darkness, but every time she touched him he sensed he could see, the light of his touch left traces behind.

“Take my breath away, Rey” he moaned.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes” he exasperated, biting down his lip. Rey closed her hand into a fist and Kylo’s throat closed, leaving him silent. Rey held it for ten seconds, and when he could breathe again the first thing he said when he caught his breath was “Again, please”. Kylo wasn’t fighting it, he didn’t want to and he wouldn’t be able to even if he did. It was a relief to be hers when he had spent all his life incapable of scaping himself. Rey held it for fifteen more seconds. Then twenty. He had let go, he wasn’t testing the strength of the Force around his wrists anymore, he wasn’t hiding behind his hair, he was facing her, eyes closed, biting down his lips until he drew blood. The next time he could breathe again, he said “Rey, I am going to…”

“No, don’t cum yet, I want to _feel_ you” she made him stand, float just inches from the ground “I want to take the rest of your clothes, I want to _see_ you” she thought he would begin to say he didn’t deserve to be seen or something all over again, but he just shook his head.

“Okay” he now had his eyes open, nobody had seen him like that ever, he feared what he might see on her face, he feared he might see rejection. But when she stripped him of his clothes and tossed them on the ground her eyes only showed desire, curiosity.

“I can see a bed” she said “Right there, is it okay if I bend you over it?”

“Please do it” he said before his face was against his mattress, knees pressed down on the hard floor. His wrists were forced towards his shoulders, the pain made him grin “I know what you want to do, Rey, do it” he buried his face on his sheets when he felt the Force being used to fill him up from behind. Rey, seeing his clearly on her mind, was moving both hands on the air and looked very concentrated. At the same time she was using the Force to fuck him from behind, she was using it to squeeze his cock very hard, going up and down slowly. “Rey, I’m gonna…” his voice was muffled from the sheets.

“No you’re not” she closed his throat and moved right beside him, he turned his head to her, his face was flushed, he was drooling a bit on his mattress, his eyes were looking intensely at her, pleading for release. His hair was wet and falling on his face, he was the most beautiful mess she had ever seen. She used a little more Force on his butt and saw his legs shaking uncontrollably, his ass tensing up. He took a deep breath as soon as she allowed him and started begging.

“Rey, please, please…” she ran her hands through the small of his back, pushing him down, taming that raw power she heard so much about. She could see his fingers trembling, the muscles of his arms and back contorting so much he seemed like he was convulsing.

“What do you see?” she kneeled down beside his trembling figure. He was struggling to breathe even when she wasn’t choking him at all.

“I see _you_ ”

“That is not enough”

“I see that _I_ need to change” Rey grabbed Kylo’s hair through the Force and pulled it, exposing his neck. She then imprinted a trail of kisses on it. “Rey that is too much, _please_ ” he cried.

“Okay, you can cum” she used the Force to jack him off fast and strong while pressing right into his prostate from behind. Kylo saw nothing more than stars in front of him, he moaned and screamed into his sheets while Rey held his wet hair from his face to see him better. She let go of his arms that fell to his sides and moved his shivering body to be fully on the top of his bed.

“Rey” he reached out his hand to her face, moving away a lock of hair that had fallen in between her eyes. “Rey _what_ is this?”

“I don’t know” she admitted, holding his hand.

“Rey, I want… I want to know all there is to know about this”

“Probably everyone already knows that”

“Why nobody told me about this?” he whispered, mesmerized.

“Ben, it has been in front of you the whole time” a long silence followed.

“I’m so, so sorry” he broke down, squeezing her hand with both of his.

“I am not here to forgive you, Ben. I’m here to…”

“Show me another way” he completed, breathless, and watched as she stood up.

“Sleep” she kissed his forehead and in a second she was alone in her hut again, the cold air coming from the spaces between the bricks. Kylo stood on the now empty room and shattered the mirror with his fist, as the blood dripped from his hand he took a deep breath, feeling purified for the first time ever.

**Author's Note:**

> "But why -she- didn't orgasm??"  
> Calm down guys I'm getting there.
> 
> Also that is MY interpretation of Kylo Ren, doesn't mean all those feelings are cannon.


End file.
